European dating relationships
No one can duplicate the dialogue we create when we are together. Two people who have found such chemistry between them have little to fear from the beast of territoriality—or do they?We float through the world in a bubble of laughter made up of two parts pun, one part aphorism, three parts poetry, and the rest pure beluga caviar. We humans are territorial creatures, by nature jealous and threatened.Like dogs, we tend to piss on things to mark our territory.A relationship like the one I describe can only be shared by two supremely secure superspacetravelers." The answer to this question is always yes, says my friend who lives in Paris."But, of course," he goes on, over a scrumptious lunch of stuffed roast lamb with wild mushrooms at Maxim's, "Europeans know better than ever to ask that question.It is just assumed that monogamy is rare, if not impossible, among lively people, and the question never comes up." Whether my friend's observation is true or not (for I have many European friends who do seem to care deeply about their mate's fidelity), it certainly does seem that Europeans see marriage differently than Americans do.Marriage is for stability, friendship, children; love is for the adrenaline highs and lows of sexual madness, the romance of being appreciated by anew person, the joys of flirting, pursuing, and clandestine coupling.
The roar of outrage that greeted Shere Hite's assertion that 70 percent of American wives married more than five years are unfaithful just goes to show how against American values this notion of "open" marriage is: Americans idealistically imagine their marriages closed.
But with maturity, couldn't one find another way of loving?
I can imagine two deep friends and soul mates, two travelers from a distant asteroid (of the mind) reunited on this planet, whose bond was so deep, so abiding that they dared to experience other loves and even share them with each other.
I have had one such relationship in my life, for nearly two decades.
It has outlasted two of my three marriages and many of my friendship.
If they are in fact open, we really don't want to know about it.